Ayisha Elliott & Eric Richardson

Join Ayisha Elliott and Eric Richardson, two Eugene Community Leaders, (and siblings!) talk about their family history and experiences in Eugene, Oregon across a gap of 10 years . 

You can read more about the project, about Wordcrafters in Eugene, about our sponsors and community partners, and send in your own Lane County, Oregon stories at StoryHelix.Wordcrafters.Org.

Thanks for listening!

Transcript

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 You're listening to StoryHelix: Intertwining
 stories past, present, and not yet
 
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 imagined in Lane County, Oregon.
 What's up, earthlings? I'm Leah Velez and
 
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 I'll be your host. The story
 we're about to hear was recorded at Oakshire
 
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 Brewing Company in the Whiteaker neighborhood of
 Eugene, Oregon, in early 2022.
 
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 Let's open up
 our ear nuggets and give it a listen.
 
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 Eric: Yeah, I'm really happy to be
 here with Ayisha, my sister.
 
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 This is Eric Richardson, born
 1968 in
 
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 St.Louis, Missouri. Ayisha:  and I am
 Ayisha Elliott. Well, formerly and originally,
 
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 Ayisha Richardson, and I'm here, born
 in Eugene, Oregon, 
 
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 and we're going to do this together. With my big
 brother! All right, let's go.
 
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 Eric: All Right.  Ayisha: Wait, I want to ask
 a question first. So how did you,
 
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 or really our family, come to
 live in Oregon? 
 
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 Eric: yeah, I mean that's a, you know, that's a very direct question,
 
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 but you know, I'm going
 to try to get to that in
 
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 a very around about way.
 Yeah--Ayisha: tell the story--Eric: yeah, because our family,
 
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 but, as you know, African
 American family. We have in our
 
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 family, six kids, seven if you
 count all of mom and dad's kids.
 
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 And so my mother, Barbara Ann,
 your mother, Barbara Ann Young, it's
 
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 a maiden name,  born in 1940
 in St Louis Missouri, and our father,
 
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 [?] Carlton, born in
 1944 in St Louis, 
 
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 Missouri. All right. And so
 these are two African American individuals, both
 
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 actually, for the most part,
 single children. Ayisha: Now I was gonna say that
 
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 Eric: Right. Yeah, and their families
 raised in basically, I would say,
 
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 almost middle class setting in St Louis, as far as the Black community is
 
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 concerned, in many ways the Black
 community in the 50s, 40s,  is better
 
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 off than the Black community is today, if you look at statistics. And
 
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 so both of them, in some way, were associating with their
 
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 church, both of them were educated,
 and in fact, both of them served in
 
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 Ayisha: the US army, Eric: in fact,
 as did both of their fathers, World
 
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 War II, you know. So. So we come from an African American
 
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 family that's kind of rooted and St.
 Louis and in service to the country and
 
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 the relationship to the country, you have... We have a relationship right. So
 
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 Anyway, mom and dad were married
 in 1967
 
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 and at that time, from what
 I understand, is that that was really a
 
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 volatile time in our nation, but
 it was also a time of like great
 
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 awakening in the Black community. You
 know, the idea, Liberation, Freedom,
 
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 Civil Rights, was going on.
 And Mom, you know, in
 
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 1967, was a twenty seven year old Black woman.
 
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 Ayisha: Yeah. Wild. Eric: With two children. Who was fully conscious, but who was a single child and whose
 
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 parents really kind of sheltered her
 in many ways. You know, 
 
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 because she went to school, she became a nurse, she was a second
 
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 lieutenant in the army and then,
 and what's really interesting about her as well,
 
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 even though she was second lieutenant and when it was known
 
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 that she was pregnant at that time, she was discharged from the army for
 
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 being pregnant. You know, what kind
 of mess is that? You know I'm saying? So
 
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 she is part of this
 whole idea of rights in many different ways,
 
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 not just racial rights, and so
 she's observed a lot of stuff.
 
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 But then dad, you know,
 who was twenty four years old,
 
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 you know, someone who had already
 served in the military and was out of
 
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 the military by time he was nineteen
 because he got in under age. Ayisha: right, illegally.
 
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 Eric: You know, we don't know, 
 illegally. Or from what our
 
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 I'm not sure...
 because it was that 
 
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 or going to jail, you know, type
 of thing. You know, I'm not
 
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 sure how that happened, but he
 went in early, and he served
 
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  time and then nineteen years old
 he's back in the city after being
 
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 in the military. Ayisha: Right. Eric: And
 so he married mom young, I think
 
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 it was twenty four, you know, by time when he married mom and so
 
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 the idea is that mom and dad were
 two young people in the time of Black
 
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 consciousness and they were actually part of
 a revolutionary type of group at the time
 
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 called the Black Artist Group, otherwise
 known as BAG. And BAG was an artistic
 
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 group that brought poets, musicians,
 dancers, and others together to explore Black expression
 
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 and Black creativity. So they
 had many performances that are not, you
 
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 know, not very well documented,
 you know, but there's been a book
 
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 written about it. They came out
 of that movement and then during the late
 
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 60s, but in 1968, as
 
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 as we all know, Dr. King was
 assassinated. And there are those at the
 
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 time who even thought Dr. King was
 lightweight. And for Dr. King to be
 
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 assassinated, when there are people asking for
 a lot more than what Dr. King was
 
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 was asking for, and in a
 lot more direct forward ways. It was
 
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 it was just stunning and hurtful,
 you know, and I think that a
 
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 lot of people who at that time
 who were part of the creative artistic movement.
 
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 Were looking for a way to
 do something else, and so mom
 
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 and dad were part of a group
 of people who are looking west, actually in
 
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 this is the whole kind of romantic
 thing... Ayisha: Right. Eric: We're going to go
 
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 west, we're going to find free
 space, we're going to find this idea
 
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 of expression and freedom and where we
 can be ourselves...Ayisha: the artists, Eric: Artists
 
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 , right, and and multiculturalists,
 because they were groups of folks, White
 
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 and Black, that we're talking about. That same unit at Washington University in
 
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 St Louis. So we're talking about
 Jewish kids and and others, you know,
 
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 Asian kids and Black folks. Ayisha: That's what they were hoping for 
 
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 in the west. Eric: Yeah... and then we're going
 to go west and we're going to bring
 
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 this and we're going to have this, you know, egalitarian existence, and
 
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 that's kind of what you find the
 whole idea about the movement here in the
 
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 Willamette Valley, you know, with
 the Country Fair and people being freethinking and
 
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 you know. So they ended up
 being here in 1971.
 
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 Ayisha: Right. Eric: You
 know, as part of that movement,
 
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 as Black, as a Black couple with
 at that time three children, because it
 
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 was only myself, Billy and John.
 Ayisha: Oh right. Eric: That showed up here from
 
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 St Louis in 1971. And so they originally
 
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 actually, we were out in Cottage
 Grove area and landed in the commune,
 
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 as far as I understand. You
 know,  Ayisha: Right. Eric: Because that was the
 
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 connection and the people they knew,
 and there are some folks living free in
 
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 a commune in Oregon, Ayisha: Right.
 Eric: And they went there, but and they
 
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 only lived there for several months,
 you know, when they first 
 
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 got here, and dad was a home
 dad, which meant he was a part
 
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 of the crews out there, some
 of the first crews replanting and, you
 
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 know, making sure that we were
 doing reforestation after 
 
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 after cleared cuts and whatnot. And so he was part
 of that crew early on when he first
 
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 got here. But really, mom
 is an RN, certified RN. 
 
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 So, soon thereafter, a couple
 months, she got a job at 
 
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 Sacred Heart, and they moved to Eugene, and so we've been really in Eugene since then. 
 
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 And so you know in Eugene 
 
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 Jerome, my younger brother, was born,
 our younger brother, in 
 
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 1972, Ayisha: Right, Eric: 
 And then soon after that, this movement of
 
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 liberation and freedom was this idea,
 this reaction to the assassination of Dr.
 
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 King, this reaction to racism,
 this reaction to capitalism, you know.
 
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 So there are a lot of people
 who really were looking to... Where
 
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 do we live in peace, if
 not the United States? Ayisha: Which is interesting...
 
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 because this is the same thing that people are
 talking about right now. Eric: Right, right!
 
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 right. But if you look at Black history with 
 
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 Woodrow Wilson, (sic Carter Woodsen?) who was one of...
 Woodsen who was one of our great
 
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 great historians, told us that,
 hey, we need to look south,
 
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 there are African peoples from the tip of
 the Americas to the southern tip of American
 
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 and that our legacy means that we
 should be able to go wherever our people
 
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 have been. Ayisha: The Diaspora. Eric: And
 that means we can go in anywhere in
 
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 the world and try to find our
 home. We don't have to be stuck
 
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 in America, Ayisha: Right. Eric: So that
 was kind of this idea of liberation,
 
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 this idea of like, we can be
 a global people. Literally. And so mom 
 
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 and dad in many ways, took
 that call up. I think. 
 
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 By initially leaving St.Louis for Oregon, and then
 
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 And like soon after being in Oregon, for a year,
 we ended up living two years in South
 
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 America, in Guyana, right? Ayisha: Right. Eric: Which is the only English speaking country
 
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 in South America. Predominantly, or at least
 fifty percent African American, or African, Black
 
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 and American because of South America and
 East India. So.. and then you
 
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 have the aboriginaids, right fifteen
 percent maybe, something like that. So
 
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 you have this, this mix,
 that people don't even know about to this day.
 
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 The country of Guyana. And so our family lived there.
 
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 That's... the Infamous Jonestown is in
 Guyana, which we can talk about because
 
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 that's part of the American... African American
 experience. 900 African Americans
 
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 from California died in Jonestown and Guyana
 about two years after our family was living
 
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 there. Ayisha: Yeah. Eric: And from what
 I understand, dad played his bass in
 
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 the church at Jonestown before we left. Ayisha: Wow, yeah, Eric: And so,
 
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 yeah, yeah, so. And
 mom wrote about it 
 
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 In one of the things... She actually wrote about
 that. So, anyway, that was
 
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 after we had been to Oregon.
 We went for an experiment. They tried to
 
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 live and build a dome. My
 Dad had met Buckminster Fuller!
 
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 Ayisha: Yeah, Eric: And this idea about
 the dome is the perfect living space
 
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 in the communal space. And, they
 tried to do that in Guyana 
 
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 with group of families, nine families from
 Oregon. Yeah, mixed race, mostly
 
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 African American. That didn't
 work out. After a two year experience.
 
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 I, you know, I was a
 kid at the time when I left
 
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 Guyana, I was seven years old. Ayisha: Oh when you left? Eric: Yeah, You know, so yeah...
 
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 We spent a year in St. Louis
 
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 in 1975, 1976.... I saw
 
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  the New Year's celebration.
 I remember watching Dick Clark New Year's celebration going into
 
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 the Bicentennial. 1976.  A year before
 
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 you were born. Right. Ayisha: That's wild. Eric: We were in
 St Louis. Right. Yeah, it
 
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 was me and Billy watching in
 her room,  watching it... 
 
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 that was really cool. But then
 the next year, we ended up moving to
 
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 Eugene. Yeah, and in 
 fact,  when we drove from Eugene,
 
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 dad had a Citroën and he and
 mom and the kids we went there, 
 
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 and then dad drove his grandmother,
 Grandma Karen, and the Citroën to the
 
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 Eugene and we all lived... Ayisha: From St. Louis to Eugene. Eric: Yeah, yeah
 
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 back in 19, it was 1976. And we moved to 
 
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 Trillium Street, up off of ...you
 know, what is that? 18th Street. 
 
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 Trillium Street, and we had a
 house up there, and that was in
 
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 and Grandma Carrie lived with us. Ayisha: Grandma..
 Eric: Born in 1900.  Ayisha: Yeah, that's what it was...
 
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 Eric: Born 1911 in Illinois, where our
 
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 family's from. You know. So
 our family's from Lebanon, Illinois, 
 
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 That's from 1900 on my dad's side. Right, and they came from Tennessee
 
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 in the late eighteen hundreds. Ayisha: So
 you're talking about, from Guyana,
 
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 to Oregon then... Why did we
 decide to stay here? 
 
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 Eric: Right,  because we had been here before.
 When we went to Guyana, we were in
 
 164
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 Oregon. Yeah, we were in
 Oregon, and in Oregon
 
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 it fit the spirit of our family, which
 was at that time, which was, yeah
 
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 We want to have a little freedom, we want to be able to
 
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 build our own reality. We want
 to be able to 
 
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 forge our thing, and so it is
 that myth, so to speak,
 
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 of that "Oh go west and find
 your own" that type idea. But I
 
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 think that we are still part of
 that and that idea is part of that.
 
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 It's like, as diasporic
 Africans, we're still looking for our
 
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 home, you know, and I
 think that was part of what they were
 
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 about. It was an aspirational kind
 of mystery.  We didn't know. So
 
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 we did come here from St. Louis
 with Grandma Carrie. Grandma Carrie passed away,
 
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 at eighty years old in 1980. Ayisha: Wow.
 
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 Eric: You know. And she she was how
 we became Richardsons.  Because at twenty two years
 
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 old she had a son, Carlton
 [Arsinia?] Richardson, but by
 
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 a man who was never named, but
 whose last name we know is Richardson.
 
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 00:14:24.559 --> 00:14:28.519
 Ayisha: Right. Eric: So we don't know who
 this individual is. So that's the part
 
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 of our history as well. And
 Carrie lived in Eugene, but she went back
 
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 home to St Louis and she's buried
 in Lebanon, Illinois with her son. 
 
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 in Lebanon, Illinois. So we've been
 here in Eugene ever since then. But
 
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 what we've brought to Eugene
 the second time we came back from St
 
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 Louis, Dad had grown up and
 been part of the jazz world in St.
 
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 Louis like the Free Jazz Movement,
 the Art Ensemble of Chicago, the
 
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 AAMC out of Chicago, Julius Hipfield [?], Oliver Lake [?]. These are
 
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 contemporaries. You know Pakita, you
 know Carol. There are a lot of
 
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 brothers and sisters who played music
 and danced out of St Louis who were
 
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 International, and so dad brought the
 Art Ensemble of Chicago here. During the
 
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 70s. He became a DJ at KLCC, our local public radio station, for
 
 191
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 almost a decade, bringing African American
 music and jazz in this perspective of African
 
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 liberation and agency to the Willamette Valley
 actually during the 70s and 80s. Through
 
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 his bringing of jazz music and the
 consideration of African studies. Because later on,
 
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 from Dad's acquaintances, through the years,
 he was able to bring to town
 
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 individuals who are into the study of
 Africa, like Alan Jefferson, and he
 
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 also was a friends with other people. Ayisha: Nikki Giovanni, Eric: Yeah, Nikki Giovanni. You
 
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 know I'm saying. So we, as a family, were always
 
 198
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 concerned about our African consciousness and our
 African identity and agency. So the
 
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 freedom for them, mom and dad, to be able to travel the world,
 
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 to be able to see themselves in
 other parts of the world, to
 
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 see possibilities for advancement in Oregon,
 you know what I'm saying, with people of
 
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 multiracial backgrounds. So these were things
 that they were forward-looking 
 
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 and I think that that's how our family really got to Oregon, is with that.
 
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 And so, of course you were
 born in what, 
 
 205
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 1977, but Jerome is
 born our first time here, before they
 
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 went to Guyana. Ayisha: Yeah,
 Seventy two. Eric: Right, seventy two,
 
 207
 00:16:52.360 --> 00:16:57.320
 and I meant to mention that
 before they went to Guyana, mom and
 
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 dad went to Africa for six months. Ayisha: Yeah, yeah, Eric: They spent six
 
 209
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 months in Africa with Ornette Coleman.
 My father is the bass player from St.
 
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 Louis in the Black Artist Group,
 and so he went with Ornette Coleman and
 
 211
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 played with the king's musicians in Morocco
 and there's a record
 
 212
 00:17:17.599 --> 00:17:22.390
 and album out there somewhere. But
 anyway, so this whole idea of
 
 213
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 our family, having these roots where,
 early on. really trying to search for our
 
 214
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 own identity, when mom and dad were
 really young. You know 
 
 215
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 we're talking about when they were in their early 20s and in their 30s... and then really, we're going
 
 216
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 to move to your experiences, from when
 you start to become aware with what the families
 
 217
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 doing, which is kind of later
 than my experience. Ayisha: Yeah, but that's
 
 218
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 for a minute though, I don't think we're ready... But why did we decide to stay
 
 219
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 here now? Like what? What? What made...you said just because this
 
 220
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 was the openness and the idea that
 mom and dad wanted... in terms of just like
 
 221
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  the mental freedom. But I
 guess it's going to move into my side...
 
 222
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 But I'm just so like curious about how they pair up..because you were kind of young too... but I'm just kind of like...
 
 223
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 If you take minds like, like Dad's,
 bringing the Afrocentricity, and bringing the jazz
 
 224
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 and bringing the music, and then mom being
 who she is, in this, such a space
 
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 that just was absolutely missing that. 
 Kind of just beginning that whole...
 
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 Eric: I have to show.... I have to kind
 of refute that a little bit. Ayisha: Okay,
 
 227
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 it's because the space is different than
 the people.  And this space, we're in
 
 228
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 is a native space. Ayisha: Yeah.
 Eric: You know, and this is a special
 
 229
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 place and there's specialness about Oregon and
 where we are. Ayisha: Yeah. Eric:  And so
 
 230
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 mom, but there's, also there was
 an easiness for mom to work... Ayisha: Right... Eric: And
 
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 be able to provide for us Ayisha: Right. Eric: And there was a safety within
 
 232
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 the spate, and the beauty... Ayisha: You mean 
 in the space, Eric: To the space, and
 
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 the ease and and that has to
 do with the actual physical space... Ayisha: Right,
 
 234
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 and maybe the spirit of the people
 who have lived here. And so
 
 235
 00:19:00.359 --> 00:19:03.240
 I think that is something that
 they have always... and I appreciate, is
 
 236
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 that we attuned to that spiritual idea,  and that we are in a special
 
 237
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 place, and they brought us here.
 Ayisha: It's interesting because, like it's important,
 
 238
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 I think, to see that we
 have a ten year span in our experiences.
 
 239
 00:19:17.839 --> 00:19:22.390
 We're ten years apart, nine years
 and months apart. So when I'm
 
 240
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 ten years old, you're already twenty. That's a whole world of experience that
 
 241
 00:19:27.480 --> 00:19:30.839
 just absolutely different. So that's...
 I think about that, because what you said
 
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 about having that space, the space
 versus the people. By time I was
 
 243
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 aware of the space, the people
 like, it felt like, it all changed,
 
 244
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 Like that wasn't the center...Eric: the
 spirit wasn't the same? Ayisha: It wasn't the same anymore.
 
 245
 00:19:48.920 --> 00:19:53.390
 Right. And this
 is why it's interesting when I think
 
 246
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 about the difference in perspective. It's
 because if you're seeing the space in the
 
 247
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 spiritual meaning or what it actually is, like the space for what it actually
 
 248
 00:20:03.359 --> 00:20:08.400
 is. And my experience is so
 rotted out with the actual people refuting
 
 249
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 that space right? Kind of bringing, Eric: Yeah, and none of that happened...yeah... Ayisha: coming in and taking ownership in that space. 
 
 250
 00:20:15.390 --> 00:20:18.119
 And so our existence, I say
 our meaning me and our little sister,
 
 251
 00:20:18.480 --> 00:20:22.440
 Naima, who, we're only
 thirteen months or fifteen months apart.
 
 252
 00:20:22.880 --> 00:20:26.880
 So we came together as a pair, right. So our experience was
 
 253
 00:20:27.440 --> 00:20:33.640
 very much balancing what was known of
 the space and what the actuality of the
 
 254
 00:20:33.680 --> 00:20:36.680
 space, like the reality of our
 space was.  So there's something, it's like,
 
 255
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 Eric: Yeah. Ayisha: Yeah, so it was
 like,  at home we had
 
 256
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 this deeper understanding. Eric: Right, it
 is existed by existence. It's... Ayisha: Right,
 
 257
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 right, and then it really became...
 because it wasn't it wasn't tangible in my
 
 258
 00:20:51.440 --> 00:20:55.000
 experience outside of the house. Eric: Right. Ayisha: So then it became more of a
 
 259
 00:20:55.119 --> 00:21:00.640
 spiritual, like almost, thought, than an actual
 tangible reality for us. Even though we knew it
 
 260
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 was there. Does that make sense? Eric: Yeah, for a
 lot of us, that's like a sad reality.
 
 261
 00:21:07.279 --> 00:21:14.359
 You all could kind of like, feel
 the aspirational wants and like movement that
 
 262
 00:21:14.519 --> 00:21:18.680
 mom and dad had, Ayisha: Yeah. Eric: 
 And that you know, to be this
 
 263
 00:21:18.960 --> 00:21:26.440
 actuated African person living in this African
 space. Our space of acceptance and creativity
 
 264
 00:21:26.480 --> 00:21:30.359
 and not... And then having to,
 in some way, just accept for comfort,
 
 265
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 Ayisha: But think about it this way too...Eric: you know, accept, for comfort...an extent of that...
 
 266
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 Ayisha: But think about it this way, too. I was born in 1977. By 
 
 267
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 1982, we had already moved out of Oregon. So something 
 
 268
 00:21:41.359 --> 00:21:48.119
 had switched where we went to Florida.
 Eric: Yeah yeah. Ayisha: But I believe before we went to Florida,
 
 269
 00:21:48.119 --> 00:21:51.790
 if I get this right, when
 were we in Tuscon? Eric: But you know,
 
 270
 00:21:51.279 --> 00:21:53.680
 so, no, before we went
 to Tuscon, so yeah...
 
 271
 00:21:53.880 --> 00:22:00.240
 so the time, right right. So you're
 born in seventy seven, Naima, is in 
 
 272
 00:22:00.400 --> 00:22:03.880
 seventy eight. And
 we had been in Eugene since
 
 273
 00:22:03.200 --> 00:22:07.240
 seventy six. And
 then by nineteen... Ayisha: eighty we were in Arizona.
 
 274
 00:22:07.599 --> 00:22:11.400
 Eric: Yeah, in 1980. Ayisha: We were in Arizona. Eric: in 1980
 
 275
 00:22:11.480 --> 00:22:15.920
 we moved to Arizona for six months. Ayisha: Okay. Eric: Not long. It was
 
 276
 00:22:15.960 --> 00:22:21.160
 like not even a whole year.
 What happened is that,  right! And
 
 277
 00:22:21.200 --> 00:22:26.640
 so we moved down there, and then, from what I understand, neither of
 
 278
 00:22:26.640 --> 00:22:30.240
 you were in school yet. You
 were... you were not... Ayisha: We started kindergarten Miami. 
 
 279
 00:22:30.400 --> 00:22:36.160
 Eric: And so we moved back. And dad, at that point, that move was precipitated,
 
 280
 00:22:36.160 --> 00:22:41.119
 from what understand by Dad, 
 really kind of pursuing his bass playing
 
 281
 00:22:41.279 --> 00:22:45.559
 and artistic opportunities with Ojulah
 Rutley (sp?), right, he was part of
 
 282
 00:22:45.599 --> 00:22:49.359
 the Black Artist Group back in the
 day. He lived in Tuscon. And so
 
 283
 00:22:49.440 --> 00:22:53.759
 Dad went down there, and there were
 some opportunities and he actually had like a
 
 284
 00:22:53.799 --> 00:23:00.790
 major performance of his music that he
 wrote there with his trio groups. It's
 
 285
 00:23:00.119 --> 00:23:06.160
 called Trios. Six months
 later we ended up back in Eugene for
 
 286
 00:23:06.279 --> 00:23:10.519
 about a year and a half and
 then we ended up moving to Miami.
 
 287
 00:23:10.559 --> 00:23:15.119
 And so a lot of this is
 really, you know, a testimony to our
 
 288
 00:23:15.200 --> 00:23:21.599
 dad in many ways, trying to find
 his way as a creative Black man,
 
 289
 00:23:21.599 --> 00:23:26.400
 and find a place where he can
 be creative, make money for the family, and
 
 290
 00:23:26.400 --> 00:23:33.559
 fulfill some of his ideas around creativity
 and the agency. And Mom, the
 
 291
 00:23:33.559 --> 00:23:37.880
 whole while is a Black woman, who was a skilled nurse and RN, really
 
 292
 00:23:38.200 --> 00:23:44.799
 is supporting the family, working
 in all these different spaces, setting that up,
 
 293
 00:23:44.839 --> 00:23:48.390
 and so you know. So the
 Miami trip was very hard. I
 
 294
 00:23:48.390 --> 00:23:52.839
 don't know if you remember when we
 first got there, staying at a hotel
 
 295
 00:23:52.880 --> 00:23:56.160
 and eating really rough, you know, not much food and stuff, until
 
 296
 00:23:56.279 --> 00:24:00.790
 mom was able to find it.
 She was working while we were at the
 
 297
 00:24:00.160 --> 00:24:04.640
 hotel until she found the house.
 You know. So all this type of
 
 298
 00:24:04.680 --> 00:24:08.920
 thing. And so all that happened. And I think that's the thing...Mom supported Dad's
 
 299
 00:24:10.799 --> 00:24:17.640
 aspiration to really be fulfilled and useful
 in the Black community. Because all these places
 
 300
 00:24:17.680 --> 00:24:19.839
 he went, we're going to be...
 for him to do these things in the
 
 301
 00:24:19.839 --> 00:24:26.559
 Black community. Musically, in Miami
 he worked in Liberty City and he brought
 
 302
 00:24:26.599 --> 00:24:29.880
 Art Ensemble there. And Liberty City, if you look it up, is
 
 303
 00:24:29.920 --> 00:24:36.559
 one of the like most poverty ridden
 places in the United States. Black, a hundred percent
 
 304
 00:24:36.599 --> 00:24:38.960
 Black, you know, very high
 poverty rates, type of stuff. But he
 
 305
 00:24:40.000 --> 00:24:44.390
 worked there at the recreation center bringing
 music and all this other stuff,
 
 306
 00:24:44.279 --> 00:24:48.599
 and mom, during that whole time, worked night shifts, around the clock
 
 307
 00:24:48.680 --> 00:24:52.519
 down there.  You know, so, she's trying to like
 finance the dream, as I see
 
 308
 00:24:52.559 --> 00:24:56.319
 it, so, after a while,  here we find ourselves back in Miami,
 
 309
 00:24:56.359 --> 00:25:00.160
 because that just doesn't work out,
 for Dad. Ayisha: You mean back in Eugene?
 
 310
 00:25:00.279 --> 00:25:06.160
 Eric: in Eugene, excuse me, right. And then from there he basically
 
 311
 00:25:06.480 --> 00:25:11.839
 we stayed here from 1985 'til you all ended
 
 312
 00:25:11.920 --> 00:25:18.790
 up going to to Costa Rica.  So it's
  a continuation. It never stopped, right?
 
 313
 00:25:18.160 --> 00:25:23.390
 Their dream never stopped. Ayisha: Right.
 Yeah, I mean, yeah.
 
 314
 00:25:23.240 --> 00:25:26.640
 My experience of that, and that other
 half is like exactly what you're saying.
 
 315
 00:25:26.640 --> 00:25:30.119
 It didn't stop. It was...It
  was like the perspective 
 
 316
 00:25:30.160 --> 00:25:33.920
 changed, because I never saw it after that as like pursuing his dream....no. 
 
 317
 00:25:34.390 --> 00:25:38.319
 Not after that, because then it became...
 and maybe it's because of my experience as
 
 318
 00:25:38.359 --> 00:25:42.480
 the only Black girl in Cottage Grove, like just me and Naima after school.
 
 319
 00:25:44.160 --> 00:25:48.839
 I think I physically fought every single
 day, like actually physically fought every
 
 320
 00:25:48.839 --> 00:25:52.279
 single day, and that's not an
 exaggeration. And then, like so I
 
 321
 00:25:52.319 --> 00:25:59.839
 think the perspective was about defending my,
 defending my right to be Black, and to
 
 322
 00:25:59.920 --> 00:26:03.390
 be knowledgeable, and to be conscious, and
 to be present, and so we were
 
 323
 00:26:03.119 --> 00:26:07.480
 constantly defending that space. So when
 we left to Costa Rica, from
 
 324
 00:26:07.519 --> 00:26:12.960
 my perspective it was about racism. Eric: Right. This is your home. Ayisha: It was about, yeah, it
 
 325
 00:26:14.000 --> 00:26:18.000
 was, it was about this isn't...
 this is no longer what it was.
 
 326
 00:26:18.640 --> 00:26:22.390
 But what's hard from me there is
 that, when, I'm listening to you
 
 327
 00:26:22.790 --> 00:26:27.960
 and how dad and mom had this
 pursuit of this dream and this diaspora
 
 328
 00:26:29.790 --> 00:26:33.160
 and music and love and all of those
 things... Whenever we come back to Eugene
 
 329
 00:26:33.480 --> 00:26:36.640
 I'm always like, even now at forty five, I'm perplexed to why
 
 330
 00:26:36.680 --> 00:26:41.599
 the hell do I pick up and come back
 here? Eric: Well, being really clear about
 
 331
 00:26:41.640 --> 00:26:45.790
 that. You know, this is where you
 have to look at the multicultural aspect of it.
 
 332
 00:26:45.160 --> 00:26:48.880
 Like I said, not only
 is it the land, and the space
 
 333
 00:26:48.200 --> 00:26:52.200
 Ayisha: Right. Eric: in the actual spirit of this
 place, that there are actually people of
 
 334
 00:26:52.319 --> 00:26:57.240
 good will...Ayisha: I know but that's not my...we're talking about my experience...Eric: No, but I'm just saying
 
 335
 00:26:57.400 --> 00:27:00.400
 that's mom and dad. When you think about who they were with
 
 336
 00:27:00.480 --> 00:27:04.119
 and who sustained them when they were
 here. These are not Black folks,
 
 337
 00:27:04.160 --> 00:27:07.960
 but there are people who kind of
 saw that mystery and saw that dream and
 
 338
 00:27:08.390 --> 00:27:11.599
 those are the people who sustained them
 here and that's why they were here.
 
 339
 00:27:11.640 --> 00:27:17.200
 Because those people were here, and are
 here...but that goes
 
 340
 00:27:17.319 --> 00:27:23.599
 counter to the narrative of Black consciousness
 as maybe most people understand it. But
 
 341
 00:27:23.680 --> 00:27:30.359
 they were understanding it, more about just
 consciousness that has Black roots. Ayisha: Of course,
 
 342
 00:27:30.680 --> 00:27:37.200
 right, right. Yeah, I
 mean, I guess I've never grown
 
 343
 00:27:37.319 --> 00:27:41.119
 up in a completely black community.
 It's never been my reality. My reality
 
 344
 00:27:41.200 --> 00:27:45.240
 is always been multicultural because of how
 mom and dad raised us, which means
 
 345
 00:27:45.240 --> 00:27:48.400
 I went to high school in Costa Rica, I
 went to high school in the south.
 
 346
 00:27:48.440 --> 00:27:55.720
 I lived in southern convoy, I lived on the
 islands. Our perspective was very decidedly
 
 347
 00:27:55.799 --> 00:28:00.880
 multicultural right, and it has
 an Afrocentric center. Eric:Yeah. Ayisha: And
 
 348
 00:28:00.160 --> 00:28:03.790
 , which includes Black culture. It
 includes all of them, all
 
 349
 00:28:03.119 --> 00:28:07.640
 of the things. Right. So, living here, I've always defended my
 
 350
 00:28:07.680 --> 00:28:14.790
 space. Eric: Yeah. Ayisha: So Eugene for
 me was not the reality that dad and
 
 351
 00:28:14.240 --> 00:28:18.880
 the older siblings were having with this,
 like, "we all came here together" White folks Black folks...
 
 352
 00:28:18.790 --> 00:28:22.759
 That was not my reality. Eric: No. Ayisha: Literally just that ten year gap was
 
 353
 00:28:22.799 --> 00:28:27.279
 a very defensive reality for... I was
 defending myself from from a very young age.
 
 354
 00:28:27.440 --> 00:28:32.200
 Right. Eric: No, I agree. Ayisha: Right, when we come home,
 that's not mom and dad's reality, right?
 
 355
 00:28:32.319 --> 00:28:34.440
 So I was living like, I say on my podcast,
 
 356
 00:28:34.519 --> 00:28:38.640
 I was living a bicultural life. I
 know, it was one reality in my 
 
 357
 00:28:38.799 --> 00:28:42.480
 home, and an absolutely
 different one outside of there.
 
 358
 00:28:42.559 --> 00:28:47.160
 Eric: And that's beautiful, because that's what DuBois is
 talking about. W.E.B. DuBois talks
 
 359
 00:28:47.200 --> 00:28:52.390
 about our dual reality, living in
 like a white world and having a Black
 
 360
 00:28:52.119 --> 00:28:56.359
 inner soul. Ayisha: Right. Eric: And so
 I think that mom and dad in many
 
 361
 00:28:56.359 --> 00:29:00.440
 ways didn't see what we
 had to go through, what you had to go through...Ayisha: Yeah.
 
 362
 00:29:00.480 --> 00:29:06.440
 Eric: And I think there was a time
 when I realized that not everybody who
 
 363
 00:29:06.519 --> 00:29:08.599
 was part of the fantasy. You know I'm saying? Yeah,
 
 364
 00:29:08.680 --> 00:29:12.359
 Because when I was here early
 on, you know, our family's part
 
 365
 00:29:12.359 --> 00:29:15.920
 of the friends with Ken Kesey's family... Ayisha: Yeah, close. Eric: 
 
 366
 00:29:15.920 --> 00:29:19.799
 and the [?] family...Right, dad
 was friends with them. I was just talking to
 
 367
 00:29:19.880 --> 00:29:23.790
 him today about some stuff that
 happened in 1975
 
 368
 00:29:23.790 --> 00:29:29.390
 , right. But I remember
 being at one point realizing, when I
 
 369
 00:29:29.790 --> 00:29:36.480
 was like becoming older, that hey, not everybody in that crowd understood what
 
 370
 00:29:36.599 --> 00:29:41.160
 I was talking about around... why
 I was part of the crowd. Now,
 
 371
 00:29:41.400 --> 00:29:45.119
 like you, how I identified with like John Fultry (sp?), right,
 
 372
 00:29:45.200 --> 00:29:48.559
 and to me, John Fultry is essential to the movement.  To understanding
 
 373
 00:29:48.720 --> 00:29:53.680
 freedom and consciousness and being the conscious
 person and going out there and, you
 
 374
 00:29:53.759 --> 00:29:57.790
 know, part of the movement. And in
 a lot of ways, I was so naive that
 
 375
 00:29:57.160 --> 00:30:03.790
 at one point I thought like all
 the white folks in town and everybody knew about
 
 376
 00:30:03.160 --> 00:30:07.160
 jazz and Black Culture because dad was on the radio and stuff, and then I
 
 377
 00:30:07.200 --> 00:30:11.200
 came to find out that was not true. You know, so the whole idea of just
 
 378
 00:30:12.790 --> 00:30:17.960
 being really solid in your culture and
 understanding that it's okay. You know,
 
 379
 00:30:18.119 --> 00:30:22.960
 it's okay that not everybody's there, because
 it still has validity. Ayisha: Yeah, and
 
 380
 00:30:23.160 --> 00:30:26.400
 Eric: And being valid, and that's what I
 you know, I take away from mom
 
 381
 00:30:26.400 --> 00:30:30.790
 and dad is that they pushed so
 much into it that it made it valid.
 
 382
 00:30:30.559 --> 00:30:36.160
 What they were doing. Ayisha: And see, the
 way that that works for me, is
 
 383
 00:30:36.160 --> 00:30:41.880
 when I look back in my childhood, I realize how I didn't actually realize
 
 384
 00:30:41.390 --> 00:30:47.240
 in the same fashion. that that we
 were being seen and treated differently. I
 
 385
 00:30:47.240 --> 00:30:52.319
 thought like Shine and Shezeree [sp?], and I
 didn't see a difference between me and Shine
 
 386
 00:30:52.319 --> 00:30:53.839
 and Shezeree and all the kids, like we were all [?]
 
 387
 00:30:55.200 --> 00:30:59.790
 Right as I go on, Eric: It dawns on you... Ayisha: You
 as you grow up and you start
 
 388
 00:30:59.160 --> 00:31:02.400
 to realize I was the only Black
 girl there. So when they said this
 
 389
 00:31:02.440 --> 00:31:04.680
 thing. That's what they were talking
 about. They weren't talking about this thing
 
 390
 00:31:04.880 --> 00:31:10.839
 Eric: Right, right. Ayisha: And it gives
 a sort of permission that I didn't even
 
 391
 00:31:10.880 --> 00:31:14.160
 realize I was giving. And so, as I grew up, like
 
 392
 00:31:14.279 --> 00:31:18.440
 to turn around and look at it
 and be like,  Eric: Right, you weren't standing
 
 393
 00:31:18.559 --> 00:31:22.440
 up for yourself, Ayisha: no I didn't. Eric: You were just allowing that to be it. Ayisha: That's what I was.
 
 394
 00:31:22.599 --> 00:31:26.839
 I was naive to know... And so
 anyway. It's it's interesting as you
 
 395
 00:31:26.839 --> 00:31:29.880
 stay and you realize and
 you look back on the group and you
 
 396
 00:31:30.390 --> 00:31:33.240
 look back at the reality of the
 naivete. You know what I mean.
 
 397
 00:31:33.640 --> 00:31:40.119
 Eric: So let us get to that. So all of this is about Ayisha.
 
 398
 00:31:40.920 --> 00:31:45.279
 You know, and you, as
 a Black woman, now you know.
 
 399
 00:31:45.400 --> 00:31:48.400
 Three children, now, you know, and
 grandchildren.  Ayisha: Because you got to realize
 
 400
 00:31:48.519 --> 00:31:52.920
 when mom and dad left when
 I was fifteen,
 
 401
 00:31:52.960 --> 00:31:56.200
 your reality is...the year...we left here when I
 was fifteen. 
 
 402
 00:31:56.200 --> 00:32:01.390
 We left to Costa Rica. They did not return right for twenty
 seven years. Yeah, so when
 
 403
 00:32:01.790 --> 00:32:06.200
 I left at fifteen, I didn't
 return back to Eugene until I was thirty two.
 
 404
 00:32:06.519 --> 00:32:09.440
 Eric: Right. Ayisha: So between fifteen and thirty two, that Eugene, Oregon. Eric: Yeah. Ayisha: it's not my
 
 405
 00:32:09.519 --> 00:32:15.799
 reality.  Eric: Exactly. Ayisha: So when I came back as a thirty two year old woman and I looked at that shit and said,
 
 406
 00:32:15.390 --> 00:32:20.960
 what in the hell was going on? Eric: And so what
 do you see? What do you
 
 407
 00:32:21.000 --> 00:32:25.160
 see in Eugene Oregon, now that
 here you are, grandmother.
 
 408
 00:32:25.599 --> 00:32:30.790
 Ayisha: Right. Eric: Black woman, Ayisha: Right,
 Eric: When you look all the way back to 1971 in your family
 
 409
 00:32:30.160 --> 00:32:32.400
 What do you see here? You know, and
 
 410
 00:32:32.440 --> 00:32:36.390
 we don't have to talk about this particular question, but we
 
 411
 00:32:36.390 --> 00:32:38.319
 can get to it. Yeah. Well, you know, there is
 
 412
 00:32:38.359 --> 00:32:43.400
 a sadness for people, for Black
 folks here, and I'll just speak as
 
 413
 00:32:43.400 --> 00:32:49.680
 a Black woman when I talk to
 other Black women who have been raised here,
 
 414
 00:32:49.799 --> 00:32:52.880
 who have lived here who come in, and spend real time here, there's
 
 415
 00:32:52.960 --> 00:33:00.599
 a sadness to...to... well especially when
 you realize that you're trying to meet people
 
 416
 00:33:00.640 --> 00:33:02.960
 halfway, and meeting people half way
 means, you know, that whole bullshit
 
 417
 00:33:04.000 --> 00:33:07.720
 of like you don't see color.
 That was very real, very very real,
 
 418
 00:33:07.799 --> 00:33:14.440
 until very recently and it's still a
 central, a central argument to
 
 419
 00:33:14.519 --> 00:33:20.160
 the Hippie love that still surrounds us. Eric: Right. Ayisha: And then, like the thing
 
 420
 00:33:20.279 --> 00:33:22.640
 is that you want to understand the
 context... you want to understand the energy behind
 
 421
 00:33:22.680 --> 00:33:29.920
 it, but the reality behind it
 is so damaging and so painful that it's
 
 422
 00:33:30.000 --> 00:33:32.839
 almost... it's more painful to be different
 and stand up for what, for that
 
 423
 00:33:34.790 --> 00:33:37.599
 duality that we grew up in.
 It's better to just say I'll take the
 
 424
 00:33:37.599 --> 00:33:45.319
 ignorance and just and downplay my
 global connection so that I can get along
 
 425
 00:33:45.480 --> 00:33:49.519
 Eric: Right. Ayisha: And that's actually super damaging. So when I realize, even up
 
 426
 00:33:49.559 --> 00:33:52.440
 to fifteen, how much of what
 I was, was compromised. Eric: Yeah. Ayisha: So
 
 427
 00:33:52.480 --> 00:33:57.279
 that I could actually be present.
 So that I can play on the volleyball team, so
 
 428
 00:33:57.319 --> 00:34:00.599
 I can, you know, do the dance
 class. I compromise myself deeply. Eric: Right.
 
 429
 00:34:00.759 --> 00:34:04.640
 Ayisha: And when I came back, Eric: So you could perform...Ayisha: So I could be
 
 430
 00:34:04.680 --> 00:34:10.790
 here right? You know, I was fighting every single day,
 you know. So when I came back
 
 431
 00:34:10.119 --> 00:34:15.119
 as a thirty-two year old woman
 after living in Hawaii, Costa Rica,
 
 432
 00:34:15.360 --> 00:34:21.239
 California, Texas, Eric: Beautiful beautiful places.  Ayisha: Just all these beautiful Brown cultures and
 
 433
 00:34:21.320 --> 00:34:24.400
 people and thought process, and I
 come back here and I say, Oh
 
 434
 00:34:24.480 --> 00:34:30.320
 my God, I can see it. I can see...Eric: In this country, and it's like folks
 
 435
 00:34:30.400 --> 00:34:35.360
 who themselves who just haven't been exposed, and who have been manipulated as workers
 
 436
 00:34:35.360 --> 00:34:40.639
 and others and say hey, we'll move on...Ayisha: And compromising. It's almost like the
 
 437
 00:34:40.719 --> 00:34:47.559
 conflict of being different isn't worth... isn't
 worth the pursuit of my wholeness.  if I
 
 438
 00:34:47.559 --> 00:34:52.519
 were to stay here. Eric: Yeah, I feel you. Ayisha: And when
 I talk to other black women...Eric: No it's important...
 
 439
 00:34:52.679 --> 00:34:57.599
 for being different. Ayisha: They feel trapped here. And there's there was none. And in
 those years,  I got away just in time.
 
 440
 00:34:57.840 --> 00:35:00.440
 Eric: And so we're getting to the end here. Do you feel like since twenty
 
 441
 00:35:00.679 --> 00:35:05.280
 since, you know, thing last
 three years, pandemic, we had a
 
 442
 00:35:05.320 --> 00:35:08.840
 lot of national progess. Ayisha: What? Eric: You think
 that things are getting better in Eugene?
 
 443
 00:35:08.920 --> 00:35:13.920
 around these issues in 2022. Here we are.
 
 444
 00:35:14.390 --> 00:35:19.760
 It's Black History Month. It's W.E.B. DuBois' birthday. You know...Ayisha: Things are
 
 445
 00:35:19.760 --> 00:35:23.390
 being expos... things are being... okay.
 For the contrast of what I just said
 
 446
 00:35:23.159 --> 00:35:28.320
 with the idea that there was this
 fear of conflict, the fear of conflict
 
 447
 00:35:28.360 --> 00:35:31.920
 was very real and strong within the
 culture of white supremacy, right, the
 
 448
 00:35:31.920 --> 00:35:37.599
 culture of Whiteness, that that fear
 of conflict is a big deal. Eric: Yeah.
 
 449
 00:35:37.599 --> 00:35:42.800
 Ayisha: What I do see now is that
 information is being talked about way more
 
 450
 00:35:42.840 --> 00:35:45.719
 than have ever seen it talked about, which me... I'm not going to say
 
 451
 00:35:45.760 --> 00:35:49.719
 that conflict is being welcomed, but
 the idea that there might be a different
 
 452
 00:35:49.760 --> 00:35:52.719
 idea, that I might not know
 something, there may be something on the
 
 453
 00:35:52.719 --> 00:35:57.119
 other side of this privilege that everyone keeps
 talking about... that is happening. I
 
 454
 00:35:57.119 --> 00:36:00.320
 will say for sure, more than
 I've ever witnessed it in Eugene.
 
 455
 00:36:00.639 --> 00:36:04.760
 More people are talking about it. But I can't say that I'm... I wouldn't
 
 456
 00:36:04.840 --> 00:36:07.519
 like whole haul... jump on
 like 'Yes, it's changing, we're going
 
 457
 00:36:07.559 --> 00:36:09.639
 out of it" Nah,  I wouldn't
 do that. We have a really deep
 
 458
 00:36:09.719 --> 00:36:16.390
 seeded need to be liked, to
 be non-confrontational. Right, to get
 
 459
 00:36:16.790 --> 00:36:21.239
 to the whole. 'Love is the
 Answer,' right, but they want to
 
 460
 00:36:21.360 --> 00:36:24.440
 want to bypass the reality of the
 harm has already been done.  And so we
 
 461
 00:36:24.480 --> 00:36:28.639
 have to like actually realize that those people
 who did stay here, when I got
 
 462
 00:36:28.639 --> 00:36:30.880
 to get out, and mom took me
 to Costa Rica, Mom and Dad
 
 463
 00:36:30.920 --> 00:36:35.440
 took me to Costa Rica.... The folks who
 got here, stayed here, still live
 
 464
 00:36:35.519 --> 00:36:40.239
 here. There's real, actual harm.
 In that compromise to assimilate in that way,
 
 465
 00:36:40.280 --> 00:36:47.280
 and I think that's... without addressing and
 welcoming that openness to be authentic, and grasp
 
 466
 00:36:47.400 --> 00:36:52.960
 your Blackness,  grasp your Indigenous
 roots, you know, and be proud about
 
 467
 00:36:52.000 --> 00:36:54.840
 that and let the space share that. Eric: Yeah. Ayisha: We
 
 468
 00:36:54.840 --> 00:36:58.000
 can't really move on to this other part.
 Eric: Well, I'm happy to be here
 
 469
 00:36:58.239 --> 00:37:02.390
 on Kalapuya lands, with you, after all of these years.  Ayisha: Eric: Mom and Dad, Thank you
 
 470
 00:37:02.119 --> 00:37:07.960
 for your Globe Trotting. Ayisha: Yes.  It's been beautiful Ayisha: It's everything. Eric: Yeah. Thank you Ayisha. 
 
 471
 00:37:07.000 --> 00:37:21.159
 Ayisha: Thank you, Eric. 
 
 472
 00:37:21.159 --> 00:37:25.280
 wherever you listen to your podcasts.
 If you've got your own Lane County story
 
 473
 00:37:25.280 --> 00:37:29.519
 to tell, we'd love to hear
 it. At StoryHelix.Wordcrafters.Org